Our bodies are not static things. They shift, adapt, and evolve throughout our lives, telling the story of our experiences. Maybe it’s the subtle softening that comes with age, the transformation after bringing a child into the world, recovery from an illness, or adapting to a new level of physical activity. Whatever the reason, seeing a reflection that doesn’t quite match the image held in our minds can be jarring, even distressing. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of criticism and comparison, mourning a past version of ourselves or yearning for an idealized future one. But reclaiming a positive connection with your body, right here and now, is not only possible, it’s profoundly liberating.
The first step, often the hardest, is acknowledging the change without immediate judgment. It’s tempting to label changes as purely ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ but reality is usually far more nuanced. Your body has carried you, healed, adapted, and functioned. Recognizing this incredible capacity is crucial. This isn’t about pretending you love every single change overnight; it’s about shifting the internal monologue from hostility to neutrality, and eventually, perhaps, to appreciation.
Understanding the Disconnect
Why do these physical shifts sometimes hit us so hard? Part of it lies in societal expectations. We’re bombarded with images of largely unchanging, often digitally altered, bodies presented as the norm. When our own reality deviates, it can feel like a personal failing. Furthermore, our body image is deeply intertwined with our sense of self. When our physical form changes significantly, it can sometimes feel like our identity is destabilized, leading to feelings of insecurity or loss of control.
It’s also about memory and attachment. We get used to seeing ourselves look a certain way. When that changes, there’s a period of adjustment needed to integrate this new visual information. This process takes time and, importantly, conscious effort to steer away from negative self-talk.
Strategies for Reconnection and Acceptance
Reclaiming your body image isn’t a one-time fix but an ongoing practice of kindness and redirection. It involves actively choosing perspectives and behaviours that nurture a healthier relationship with your physical self.
Shift Focus from Appearance to Function
Our bodies do so much more than just exist to be looked at. They allow us to experience the world, hug loved ones, walk in nature, taste delicious food, listen to music, create, and learn. Start consciously appreciating what your body
This shift requires practice. When you catch yourself scrutinising your reflection, gently redirect your thoughts: “Okay, I notice that change. Now, what am I grateful my body can
Engage in Mindful Movement
Exercise is often framed solely as a tool for body manipulation – shrinking, toning, sculpting. Try reframing movement as a way to connect with your body and experience joy. Choose activities you genuinely enjoy, whether it’s dancing in your living room, gentle stretching, walking outdoors, swimming, or cycling. Pay attention to the sensations: the feeling of your muscles working, your breath expanding, the rhythm of your steps. Move for the pleasure of it, for stress relief, for the burst of energy it provides, not as a punishment or solely to alter your appearance.
Remember that rebuilding your body image is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be good days and bad days. Be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout the process; setbacks don’t erase progress.
Curate Your Environment (Especially Online)
What you consume visually has a profound impact on your self-perception. Take a critical look at your social media feeds. Are they filled with accounts that consistently make you feel inadequate or overly focused on narrow beauty standards? Unfollow, mute, or block liberally. Seek out accounts that showcase diverse bodies, promote body neutrality or positivity, and focus on well-being rather than just aesthetics. Your digital space should be uplifting, not a source of constant negative comparison.
This extends to offline influences too. If certain magazines, TV shows, or even conversations consistently trigger negative body thoughts, consider limiting your exposure or changing the subject.
Dress the Body You Have Now
Wearing clothes that don’t fit comfortably or that you associate with a previous body shape can be a constant, uncomfortable reminder of change. It reinforces the idea that your current body is temporary or ‘wrong’. Investing in a few key pieces that fit well and make you feel good
Practice Self-Compassion
How do you talk to yourself about your body? Is your internal monologue harsh, critical, and unforgiving? Try speaking to yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend going through a similar experience. Acknowledge the difficulty without judgment. Instead of “I hate how my stomach looks,” try “My body has changed, and it feels challenging right now. I’m working on accepting it.” This shift in tone, practiced consistently, can gradually soften feelings of self-criticism.
Affirmations can be helpful, but only if they feel believable. Start small. Maybe “I am learning to appreciate my body” feels more accessible than “I love my body” initially. Find phrases that resonate and repeat them, especially during challenging moments.
Celebrate Your Whole Self
You are so much more than your physical appearance. Your worth isn’t determined by your size, shape, or age. Remind yourself regularly of your strengths, talents, passions, values, and accomplishments that have nothing to do with how you look. What are you proud of? What makes you unique? What impact do you have on the world and the people around you? Focusing on your intrinsic qualities helps to diminish the disproportionate importance often placed on physical appearance.
Living Embodied
Reclaiming your body image after changes is about coming home to yourself, accepting the reality of your physical form with kindness, and shifting your focus towards appreciation and function. It’s about understanding that your body is your ally, the vehicle for your life’s experiences, constantly adapting and deserving of respect. It requires conscious effort to challenge negative thought patterns and societal pressures, but the reward – a more peaceful, accepting, and embodied existence – is invaluable. Treat your body with care, speak to it with compassion, and celebrate all that it allows you to be and do. This journey of acceptance allows you to live more fully, less encumbered by the weight of comparison and criticism, free to embrace the present moment in the body you have today.
