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Why This Little List Packs a Big Punch
Keeping a running tally of your positive attributes isn’t just a feel-good exercise (though it certainly can be). It has tangible benefits that ripple outwards.Boosting Your Mood and Resilience
When you consciously focus on things you appreciate about yourself, it naturally lifts your spirits. On days when everything feels like it’s going wrong, or when that inner critic is particularly loud, revisiting your list can be a grounding reminder that there’s more to the story. It’s like having a personalized pep talk on standby. Seeing your strengths written down can provide a buffer against setbacks, reminding you of the resources you possess to cope and bounce back.Sharpening Self-Awareness
The process of actually sitting down and thinking about what you like requires self-reflection. You start noticing things you might otherwise take for granted. Maybe you realize you’re exceptionally patient with difficult people, or perhaps you discover a knack for making others laugh. This heightened awareness helps you understand yourself better – your values, your strengths, your unique way of being in the world. It moves self-perception from a vague feeling to something more concrete.Counteracting Negative Self-Talk
Our brains often default to noticing threats and shortcomings – it’s an old survival mechanism. In modern life, this often translates into harsh self-judgment. Actively seeking out and recording positive traits helps retrain your brain. It gives you concrete evidence to challenge negative thoughts when they arise. Instead of spiraling down, you can pull out your list and say, “Okay, maybe I messed up that presentation, but I am a really good listener, and I did handle that awkward client situation well last week.”Getting Your “Like List” Started
Okay, convinced it might be worth a try? Getting started is the easiest part, though it might feel a bit strange initially. Don’t overthink it.Grab Your Tools
This can be as low-tech or high-tech as you like.- A dedicated notebook and a favourite pen. There’s something satisfying about physically writing things down.
- A note-taking app on your phone or computer. Convenient for adding things on the go.
- A simple document file saved somewhere accessible.
Brainstorming Time: No Judgment Allowed
Set aside just 10-15 minutes. Find a quiet spot where you won’t be interrupted. Now, start jotting down anything – big or small – that comes to mind when you think about things you genuinely like, appreciate, or value about yourself. Don’t censor yourself. Don’t worry if it sounds silly or insignificant. Just write. Stuck? Here are some prompts:- What are you good at? (Skills, hobbies, work tasks)
- What positive feedback have you received from others (that resonated with you)?
- When do you feel proud of yourself? What were you doing?
- What aspects of your personality do you value? (e.g., kindness, humour, determination, curiosity)
- Are there physical features you appreciate? (Your strong hands, your expressive eyes, the way your hair curls)
- Think about challenges you’ve overcome. What qualities helped you through?
- What small acts of kindness or consideration do you perform regularly?
- What makes you uniquely you? (Quirks count!)
Important Note: This practice is about genuine self-appreciation, not inflated ego or false positivity. Focus on qualities, actions, or traits you truly recognise and value in yourself. Authenticity is key; don’t force yourself to write things you don’t honestly believe.
What Belongs on Your List? Be Real, Be Specific
The more specific you can be, the more impactful the list becomes. Instead of just writing “I’m nice,” try something like, “I’m good at making new people feel welcome,” or “I often remember small details about people that make them feel seen.”Examples Across Different Categories:
Personality Traits
- My sense of humour (especially the puns)
- My resilience when things get tough
- My curiosity about how things work
- My ability to stay calm under pressure (sometimes!)
- My patience when explaining things
- My loyalty to my friends
- My honesty
- My creativity in finding solutions
Skills and Talents
- I’m a good cook / baker (especially my lasagna)
- I can figure out tech problems
- I’m great at organizing spaces
- I have a green thumb
- I’m a careful driver
- I can learn new software quickly
- I tell engaging stories
- I’m skilled at [insert specific hobby/craft]
Actions and Achievements
- Completed that difficult project at work
- Helped my neighbour carry their groceries
- Finally fixed that leaky faucet
- Listened patiently to a friend who needed to vent
- Stood up for something I believe in
- Learned a new song on the guitar
- Consistently make time for exercise
- Read a challenging book
Physical Attributes (Handled Gently)
This category requires care, focusing on appreciation rather than societal standards. Think function and unique features.- My strong legs that let me hike
- The sound of my laugh
- My expressive hands when I talk
- My eyes that allow me to see beauty
- The unique pattern of my freckles
Unique Quirks
- My encyclopedic knowledge of 80s movie trivia
- The way I always match my socks (or intentionally mismatch!)
- My habit of humming while I work
- My particular way of organizing my bookshelf
Cultivating Your List: Make It a Living Document
Creating the list is just step one. The real magic happens when you integrate it into your life.Revisit Regularly
Don’t just write it and forget it. Schedule time – maybe once a week, or even just for a minute each morning – to read through your list. Let the positive feelings sink in. Remind yourself of these truths, especially when you’re feeling low.Keep Adding To It
Make it an ongoing process. When you notice something new you appreciate about yourself, add it to the list! Did you handle a stressful situation well? Add it. Did someone compliment your thoughtful approach? Add it. Did you discover a new skill? Add it. Aim to add at least one new item every week or two. This keeps the list fresh and reinforces the habit of looking for the good.Use It As a Tool
Having a bad day? Feeling inadequate? Pull out the list. Read it slowly. It’s not about denying the difficult feelings, but about reminding yourself that those feelings aren’t the whole picture. You contain multitudes, including all the wonderful things on that list.What If It Feels Hard or Awkward?
It’s normal if this feels a bit uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to focusing on flaws.Feeling Awkward or Conceited?
Remind yourself this is a private exercise for your own well-being. It’s not about becoming arrogant; it’s about cultivating a more balanced and compassionate relationship with yourself. Think of it as internal bookkeeping – acknowledging assets as well as liabilities.Running Out of Ideas?
Go smaller. Think about tiny moments. Did you hold the door for someone? Did you resist an urge to complain? Did you make your bed this morning? Sometimes appreciating the small, consistent efforts is incredibly powerful. You can also ask a trusted friend or family member what they appreciate about you – sometimes an outside perspective sparks recognition.Dismissing Positive Traits?
Our inner critic loves to downplay our strengths (“Oh, anyone could do that,” or “That doesn’t really count”). Challenge these dismissals. If you did it, and it’s a positive quality or action, it counts. Acknowledge the critic’s comment, then consciously reaffirm the positive point on your list.The Ripple Effect: Beyond the List
This simple practice of acknowledging what you like about yourself isn’t confined to the pages of your notebook or the file on your computer. It subtly starts to change how you move through the world. When you have a more balanced view of yourself, you might find:- Improved Relationships: You approach others with less defensiveness and more authentic confidence.
- Better Decision Making: You trust your judgment more because you’re aware of your strengths and capabilities.
- Increased Motivation: Recognizing past successes and positive traits can fuel your drive to tackle new challenges.
- Greater Openness: You might be more willing to try new things or take healthy risks because you’re less afraid of failure.
- A Generally Brighter Outlook: Actively looking for the good in yourself can train your brain to look for the good in other situations too.