We live in a world obsessed with results. Success is measured by the finish line crossed, the target hit, the project completed perfectly. We celebrate the winners, the achievers, those who seemingly glide effortlessly to the top. But what about the journey? What about the sheer, gut-wrenching, sometimes messy, often exhausting effort involved in simply trying? It’s time we started giving ourselves genuine credit for that part, perhaps the most important part of all.
Think about it. How often do you dismiss your own attempts simply because they didn’t yield the exact outcome you envisioned? You tried a new recipe, and it was just okay – so you label it a failure, ignoring the fact you stepped out of your culinary comfort zone, learned a new technique, or simply put food on the table. You applied for a dream job and didn’t get it – instantly, the hours spent polishing your resume, preparing for the interview, and putting yourself out there feel wasted. We are incredibly harsh judges of our own endeavors, holding them up against an often unrealistic standard of perfection or ultimate success.
The Underrated Value of Showing Up
The act of trying holds immense intrinsic value. It signifies courage – the courage to face potential failure, uncertainty, or discomfort. It represents a willingness to learn and grow. Every attempt, regardless of the outcome, teaches us something. Maybe you learned what doesn’t work, discovered a hidden weakness to address, or stumbled upon an unexpected strength. This process of trial and error, fueled by consistent effort, is the very foundation of skill development and personal evolution.
Imagine the alternative: never trying at all. Fear of failure, fear of judgment, or the belief that effort is only worthwhile if success is guaranteed can lead to stagnation. We remain stuck in familiar patterns, never exploring new possibilities or pushing our boundaries. Recognizing and appreciating the effort itself helps break this cycle. It reframes the experience from a win/lose scenario to one of continuous learning and participation in your own life.
Battling the Inner Critic’s Dismissal
Most of us have a relentless inner critic, quick to point out flaws and downplay achievements. This voice is particularly adept at dismissing effort. “Why bother patting yourself on the back? You didn’t even succeed,” it might sneer. “All that work for nothing.” This internal narrative is damaging. It erodes self-confidence and makes future attempts feel daunting. If effort is never acknowledged unless it leads to a gold star, why would we keep exerting ourselves, especially when things get tough?
Countering this critic requires a conscious shift in perspective. It means actively choosing to see the value in the process. It involves recognizing that showing up, putting in the hours, facing the challenge – these are accomplishments in themselves. Success isn’t just the final product; it’s woven into the fabric of the attempt.
How to Cultivate Effort Recognition
Giving yourself credit for trying isn’t about lowering your standards or celebrating mediocrity. It’s about adopting a more holistic and compassionate view of your own journey. Here are some practical ways to do this:
- Mindful Reflection: Set aside a few moments each day or week to deliberately think about where you put your energy. Don’t just focus on what you finished, but on what you started, what you grappled with, what challenges you faced head-on. Ask yourself: Where did I push myself today? What did I attempt, even if it felt scary or difficult?
- Keep an Effort Log: Forget the to-do list for a moment; try an “I Tried” list. Jot down the things you attempted, the effort you expended. “Tried mediating for 5 minutes even though I was restless.” “Spent an hour researching that complex topic.” “Reached out to that contact despite feeling nervous.” Seeing it written down makes the effort more tangible and harder to dismiss.
- Reframe Your Self-Talk: Pay attention to the words you use when thinking or talking about your endeavors. Instead of “I failed to get the promotion,” try “I put in a strong application and gained valuable interview experience.” Instead of “My presentation wasn’t perfect,” try “I worked hard preparing that presentation and delivered my key points.” Focus on the action and the learning, not just the perceived shortcomings of the result.
- Acknowledge Small Steps: Big goals are achieved through countless small efforts. Break down daunting tasks and consciously acknowledge the effort involved in completing each small part. Finishing a single paragraph, making one difficult phone call, spending 15 minutes exercising – these all count. Give yourself a mental nod for each one.
Important Reminder: Constantly overlooking your own efforts while fixating solely on final outcomes can be a fast track to burnout and diminished self-worth. It creates a cycle where only external validation or perfect results feel rewarding. Recognizing the inherent value of trying is crucial for sustainable motivation and long-term resilience.
The Ripple Effect of Acknowledging Your Efforts
When you start genuinely giving yourself credit for trying, positive changes begin to unfold. You’ll likely notice:
- Increased Motivation: Knowing that the effort itself is valued, regardless of the immediate outcome, makes it easier to start new things and persist through difficulties. It fuels intrinsic motivation – the drive that comes from within.
- Enhanced Resilience: Setbacks sting less when you can look back and say, “Wow, I really gave that my all,” or “I learned so much from that attempt.” Focusing on effort builds mental toughness and the ability to bounce back from disappointment.
- Better Self-Esteem: Your sense of self-worth becomes less dependent on external achievements or validation. You build confidence based on your willingness to engage, learn, and persevere.
- A Stronger Growth Mindset: Embracing effort reinforces the belief that abilities aren’t fixed but can be developed through dedication and hard work (the core of a growth mindset). You see challenges not as threats, but as opportunities to apply effort and grow.
Real-World Application
Consider applying this principle to everyday situations. Tried learning a new language? Applaud yourself for every practice session, every fumbled sentence, every new word learned, even if fluency feels miles away. Attempting to build a healthier habit? Give yourself credit for choosing the salad, taking the stairs, or resisting the urge for that extra snack – these efforts matter immensely, even if the scale doesn’t move immediately. Working on a creative project? Acknowledge the courage it takes to face the blank page or canvas, the hours spent experimenting, the vulnerability of putting your ideas out there, regardless of the final reception.
Make it a Practice
Giving yourself credit for trying isn’t a one-time fix; it’s an ongoing practice, like mindfulness or gratitude. It requires conscious attention and repetition. Start small. Pick one area where you tend to be hard on yourself and deliberately focus on acknowledging the effort involved.
Be patient and kind to yourself during this process. Your inner critic won’t vanish overnight. But with consistent practice, you can cultivate a more supportive inner voice – one that recognizes the immense value in your willingness to show up, put in the work, and simply try. That effort, sustained over time, is where real growth, learning, and ultimately, a richer life, truly happen. Celebrate it.
