The festive season rolls around again, bringing twinkling lights, familiar carols, and the promise of connection with loved ones. Yet, for many, holiday gatherings can also stir up anxieties, particularly around body image. The focus often shifts heavily towards food, old traditions might mean squeezing into outfits from years past, and seeing relatives you haven’t connected with in a while can sometimes open the door to unwelcome comments. It’s a time ripe for comparison and self-critique if we aren’t mindful. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can navigate these events feeling more comfortable and present, focusing on the joy rather than the jitters.
Shift Your Holiday Focus
Let’s start with the core idea: holidays are fundamentally about connection, shared moments, and creating memories, not about how your body looks. When body image worries start creeping in, consciously redirect your attention. What are you truly looking forward to? Is it hearing your cousin’s travel stories, playing board games with the family, enjoying the specific atmosphere of a loved one’s home, or singing carols off-key together?
Try this little exercise when you feel overwhelmed: Pause. Take a deep breath. Engage your senses beyond how you look or what’s on the buffet table. What specific decoration catches your eye? What does the festive music sound like? Can you smell the pine needles or the spices in the air? What textures can you feel – the warmth of a mug, the soft fabric of a throw blanket? Grounding yourself in the present sensory experience helps pull focus away from internal anxieties and towards the external reality of the gathering.
Make a mental (or even physical) list of non-appearance-related things you appreciate about yourself and the holiday season. Perhaps it’s your sense of humor, your ability to listen, your knack for choosing thoughtful gifts, or simply the warmth you bring to a room. Remind yourself of these qualities when negative body thoughts arise.
Dress for Comfort and Confidence (Right Now!)
The pressure to wear something specific – perhaps a ‘traditional’ holiday outfit or something that fit differently last year – can be immense. Ditch it. Your comfort is paramount. Trying to squeeze into something uncomfortable is a surefire way to feel self-conscious all evening.
Choose Clothes That Fit Your Current Body
This sounds simple, but it’s crucial. Go through your wardrobe before the event season kicks off. Select outfits that fit you comfortably right now, not ones you hope will fit after a few weeks of restriction (which isn’t the goal anyway!). If nothing feels quite right, consider treating yourself to one or two new items that make you feel good in your skin as it is today. This isn’t about a whole new wardrobe, but about having reliable options that don’t add physical discomfort to potential emotional stress.
Think about fabrics and styles that feel good. Stretchy materials, flowing tops, comfortable waistbands – whatever allows you to sit, stand, eat, and mingle without feeling restricted. Your clothing should support your participation in the event, not hinder it.
Accessorize with Personality
Accessories are a fantastic way to express your style and add a festive touch without worrying about fit in the same way. A colourful scarf, statement jewelry, fun socks, a stylish bag, or a festive hair accessory can elevate your mood and your look, drawing attention to your overall presence rather than just your silhouette.
Navigating the Festive Feast
Food is central to most holiday celebrations, and this can be a minefield if you have a complicated relationship with eating or your body. The key is to aim for neutrality and enjoyment, rather than restriction or overindulgence followed by guilt.
Give yourself permission to enjoy the special foods that only come around this time of year. Attaching morality to food (“good” vs. “bad”) often backfires, leading to cycles of restriction and guilt. Try to approach the buffet or dinner table with curiosity rather than judgment. What looks appealing? What smells delicious?
Practice mindful eating, even if just for a few bites. Slow down. Savour the flavours and textures. Pay attention to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. You don’t need to finish everything on your plate, nor do you need to deprive yourself of things you genuinely want to taste. Eating with awareness can help you feel more satisfied and less likely to feel uncomfortably full or emotionally triggered.
Focus on the social aspect of meals. Engage in conversation. Listen to others. Sharing food is a form of connection. Try to keep the focus there, rather than solely on the calories or the content of your plate.
Handling Unsolicited Comments
Ah, the dreaded comments. “Have you lost weight?” “Have you gained weight?” “Are you really going to eat that?” “You should try this diet…” These remarks, however well-intentioned they might seem to the speaker, can be hurtful and triggering. Having a few strategies ready can make a world of difference.
Prepare Neutral Responses
You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation about your body or your eating habits. Prepare a few short, polite, and neutral responses you can deploy easily. Examples include:
- “My body/weight isn’t something I’m discussing right now, but thanks.”
- “I’m focusing on enjoying the holidays, not on diets.”
- “Let’s talk about something else, how have you been?”
- A simple, “Thanks, I’m feeling good.” (Regardless of the comment’s nature).
- Or even just changing the subject directly: “Did you see that game last night?”
Practice saying them aloud beforehand so they feel more natural in the moment.
Set Boundaries and Redirect
It’s perfectly okay to state your boundaries clearly and kindly. “I’d prefer if we didn’t talk about my appearance/eating habits.” Then, immediately redirect the conversation to a different topic. Ask them a question about themselves – people often enjoy talking about their own lives. This shifts the focus gracefully but firmly.
Comparing your holiday experience or your body to others, especially filtered online portrayals or idealized past selves, can steal your joy. Remember that everyone’s journey is different, and curated images rarely reflect reality. Focus on your own presence and authentic experience during gatherings. Resisting the comparison trap is key to enjoying the moment.
It’s Okay to Walk Away
If someone persists or makes you deeply uncomfortable, you have every right to excuse yourself from the conversation. You can go get a drink, find someone else to talk to, step outside for fresh air, or even just retreat to the restroom for a few moments to collect yourself. Protecting your peace is not rude.
Practice Self-Compassion
This is perhaps the most important tip of all. Holiday gatherings can be emotionally charged. If difficult feelings about your body arise, acknowledge them without judging yourself for having them. It’s okay to feel sensitive or anxious. Beating yourself up for feeling bad only makes things worse.
Talk to yourself as you would talk to a dear friend facing the same situation. Offer yourself words of kindness and understanding. “This is tough, but I can handle it.” “My worth isn’t determined by my size or what I ate.” “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable sometimes.”
Remind yourself frequently of your positive qualities and the things you value beyond appearance. Your intelligence, your kindness, your creativity, your relationships – these are the things that truly define you.
Before and After the Event
Prepare Mentally
Before heading out, take a few moments to ground yourself. Maybe listen to uplifting music, do a short meditation, repeat a positive affirmation (“I am here to connect and enjoy myself”), or text a supportive friend for a quick pep talk. Remind yourself of your intention: to connect, enjoy, and be present.
Gentle Reflection
After the event, resist the urge to replay conversations critically or obsess over what you ate or how you looked. Instead, focus on the positive aspects. What conversations did you enjoy? What made you laugh? What tasty food did you savour? What moment felt genuinely warm or festive? Let go of the negative bits as much as possible and carry the pleasant memories forward.
Navigating holiday gatherings while feeling sensitive about body image takes conscious effort, but it is possible to shift the experience from one of dread to one of genuine, albeit imperfect, enjoyment. Focus on connection, prioritize your comfort, set boundaries kindly, and above all, treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a loved one. The holidays are a season, not a test. Give yourself permission to simply be in it.
